Huracan  1  Argentinos Juniors   2

The main reason I adopted Argentinos Juniors as the team to write this blog about was that they were crap. I watched them a couple of times a year or so ago and thought their ramshackle ground, their tubby players and their comical goalkeeper would give me plenty of amusing anecdotes to string together.  Their manager had the kind of mullet hair arrangement that didn’t look good when it was fashionable in the nineteen-seventies, let alone on a fifty-something year old man in 2009. They finished last that season and for some reason Nestor Gorosito was poached by River Plate.

Gorosito and mullet

Gorosito and mullet

Claudio Borghi, who played for Argentinos Juniors during their glory period in the mid-eighties, was lured to the club and has turned a team on a par with Accrington Stanley into one that could hold its own against Chelsea.

They finished sixth last season, losing very few but drawing far too many. But this season, those draws turned into victories, the team never lost its shape or its desire to attack or its character. Borghi sat in his dug-out, rarely expressing any emotion. Argentine football fans all seem to agree that this team are worthy champions — for their stylish football, for their refusal to accept defeat and for their humility.

Humility is not a quality that comes easily to most Argentines. But with the brash arrogance of the big clubs, River Plate and Boca Juniors, and the brash stupidity of the likes of the Diego Maradona infecting the game here, the feet firmly on the ground approach of Claudio Borghi was exactly what was needed.

Nearly twelve thousand of us squidged into the Huracan stadium, a beautiful, nineteen-thirties style structure on the other side of town. It was a crisp, cold winter’s day and we were in fine voice. I’ve always found it a bit of challenge to understand all the lyrics of the Argentine football songs. I’ve got some of the key words but tend to adopt the same practise as when singing Auld Lang Syne at New Year – a lot of enthusiastic but unintelligible burbling.

Like a Huracan

Like a Huracan

So I had the bright idea of printing some songs off the internet and trying to learn them. But my memory is not what it was. I can’t, for instance, remember all eleven members of the 1980 West Ham FA Cup winning team. So I hide the lyrics inside the match magazine and take sneaky peaks when I falter.

There’s a lot of ‘nobody loves us but we don’t care’ attitude reflected in the lyrics, loyalty in the face of adversity and downright fatalism.

“The day I die, I want my coffin painted red and white like my heart,” sung to a jaunty tune is one of my favourites.

Argentinos Junior’s big rivals, the brown and white-shirted Platense, are nicknamed the calamares or squid and feature a fair amount in the lyrics.

“I don’t care what they say, the squid whores, the journalists, the police – wherever you go, your fans will always be with you, breathing life with lots of alcohol and marijuana.”

Squid whores!!! Try that one as an insult the next time you get really angry and see where it gets you.

The anti-squid taunting has lost a little of its potency since, while Argentinos Juniors bathed themselves in glory, Platense were tumbling into third division obscurity.

“Reds – my great friend, this season we’re back again with you. We’ll support you with our hearts, we’re your fans and want you to be champions.”

Reasons to be Cheerful

Reasons to be Cheerful

And champions we are. Argentinos started brightly against Huracan and mounted several attacks that came to nothing before Juan Mercier got his bald head to a cross and tucked it into the net. This was a game the Red Bugs had to win to clinch the title since Estudiantes, just a point behind, were wiping the floor with Colon up in the north-east of Argentina.

But we were made to sweat. Facundo Coria put us two up ten minutes from the end by tapping in a rebound after Ismael Sosa had blasted against the post. Then three minutes from the end, Alan Sanchez pulled one back for Huracan and we were subjected to several  of those elongated minutes that leave you biting nails, clenching buttocks and glancing at your watch every ten seconds. And in situations like these, the referee will always add about a year of extra time.

With the Huracan fans setting fire to their own stadium, the referee cut short the added time and the celebrations began.

“C’mon Red Bugs, C’mon, Put your balls in place and let’s win this one, we’ll keep on da da de da da, we’ll be champions and not de do du da da, Come on Bugs.”

That might have lost a little something in translation but the spirit, I think, is clear. Argentinos Juniors are champions of Argentina for the first time in twenty five years. I certainly know how to pick a loser!

Arsenal  2  Argentinos Juniors  2

This was one of those trips across town to a nether region of Greater Buenos Aires, Sarandi, requiring a convoluted combination of bus, train and underground travel. And for that, you need loose change which is often as sparse as decent options in a West Ham attack.

Like Gold

Like Gold

The banks will, reluctantly, change ten pesos worth. I, however, choose to queue outside a hole in the wall at the main Retiro train terminal for twenty pesos of clinky, shiny coins. Then, if I’ve got the time and no-one’s spotted me, I’ll queue again and head home with pockets bulging like the cheeks of a hamster that’s just emerged from an ‘All You Can Eat’ granary and jangling like the Tin Man on speed.

This is the only country I know where one peso can be worth more than two pesos. That’s because if it’s pissing with rain and I’m far from home, then I’d gladly exchange my crisp, new but easily obtainable two peso note, which the buses won’t accept, for a grubby, sweaty one peso coin, which they do. And I’d dance a tango and perform a little juggling trick as the tip.

This shortage of change is an inconvenience to public transport users like myself. But it’s also turning me into a liar. “No,” I’ll mumble and fumble when the shopkeeper asks if I’ve got any change. “I haven’t got any, none whatsoever, not a thing.” He knows I’m lying and I know that he knows that I’m lying, but what can I do?

I have to consider the welfare of that huge army of one-legged Peruvian guitar players, blind Bolivian jugglers and banjo-playing waifs and strays that strolls the aisles of the buses and trains to earn a few pennies to feed their hungry families. And of course, I need my own bus fare home.

This shortage of change has never been adequately explained which gives rise to a wide array of conspiracy theories. One is that the bus drivers sell 90 pesos worth of coins for 100 pesos on the black market.

Travelling Bichos

Travelling Bichos

The man behind me in the queue had the idea that the Argentine Central Bank bought their coins for US dollars but were short of readies because President Cristina Kirchner hoarded the greenbacks to finance her shopping trips to New York. There was something in there about Paraguayan gun runners and a large shipment of marmalade from Tanzania but it was my turn to be served and I couldn’t stay to join up the dots.

Conspiracy theories abound, partly because of the manipulation and often downright dearth of official information.

The official government statistics office, the INDEC, quite blatantly misquotes the inflation figures. President Kirchner never gives interviews and rarely attends news conferences and her ministers follow her lead.

Football, as it so often does, mirrors the rest of society. Those who run the clubs are accountable only to shady politicians and the tougher elements of the barra brava to whom they owe favours, so it’s very difficult to get a grasp of what’s going on in the corridors and dark corners of the grounds.

One of the biggest footballing mysteries of all is that surrounding Argentina’s 1978 World Cup win, with their place in the final rumoured to have been bought by the then military dictatorship.

There were two groups of four in what passed for the semi-finals, with the top team in each going through to the final. The Dutch clinched their spot but Argentina needed to beat Peru by at least four clear goals to meet them. They scored six.

Worthy Winners?

Worthy Winners?

It could simply have been that a very good home team, boasting Passarella, Ardiles, Kempes and Tarantini, did what they had to do – and more – against a tired Peru.

But the Peruvian keeper, Ramón Quiroga, was born in Argentina. There’s been talk of men in funny jackets making clandestine visits to the Peruvian players, of phone conversations between the Argentine military and their counterparts in Lima and Argentine ships laden with goodies sitting off the Peruvian coast just waiting for that fourth goal to go in before upping anchors and sailing into port while the crew danced a victory jig on the poop deck and tossed presents from the crow’s nest.

None of this has ever been convincingly proved nor satisfactorily disproved and is likely to be discussed for as long as football is played and beer is drunk – or Alex Ferguson discards that piece of gum he’s been chewing for the past forty years. Whichever is the sooner.

It’s all a bit like the debate over whether England’s third goal in the 1966 World Cup final crossed the line or not. Except without the ships and the military and the llamas. Didn’t I mention the llamas? But apart from that – almost the same.

There  were plenty of theories circulating the terraces at this game. Arsenal is where the Argentine Football Association boss, Julio Grondona, began his long career. So every dodgy refereeing decision – and there were plenty here tonight – is met with a chorus of abuse insinuating that the fellow in black had been ‘got at’  by the top man.

Argentinos were a tad unlucky but were really not good enough to grab all three points. That would have put on them on top but perhaps they were struck by stage fright. They started well with an early goal from José  Luis Calderón,, who is old enough to have been a ballboy at that ’78 final. But Arsenal pulled one back before half-time then took the lead early in the second half with a penalty which really shouldn’t have been.

The visitors were unusually disjointed and gave the ball away far too often. They were just not themselves. But Facundo Coria did equalise just before the final whistle and Argentinos Juniors now sit just one point behind the joint leaders, Estudiantes and Independiente with four games to go.

Argentinos Juniors  2  Chacarita Juniors  1

Chacarita is the next neighbourhood to mine, dominated by a huge cemetery. The club that bears its name moved to the San Martin area some years ago but the local graffiti confirms that it still has a lot of fans in the area.

I like it. It’s what estate agents call ‘up and coming,’ mostly because it’s got a couple of cafes with French-sounding names.  A few weeks ago, the taxi I was in dropped a friend there after a match. As we turned the corner the GPS spoke. “You are leaving a dangerous area,” it said. “Dangerous?!!!!”  I retorted, with as many exclamation marks as I could muster.

Sunset over La Paternal. Photo: Chloe Corbin

Sunset over La Paternal. Photo: Chloe Corbin

“It’s getting like Colombia here,” explained the taxi driver, with that tone of knowledgeable resignation that taxi drivers the world over do to perfection.

I cut him short. “What? Like two well-armed guerrilla armies, drug cartels, kidnapping, right-wing militias, hit-men on motor-bikes, tens of thousands of refugees and displaced people and millions of dollars of US military aid? And Shakira? Have you got Shakira?”

“Well no,” he stuttered. “But it’s getting like that.” I can tell you that Argentina is not like Colombia. But the general perception is that it is. Crime is on the rise and the graphic tales in the daily newspapers of murder, mayhem and mutilation certainly fuel that feeling.

Pretty much all the homes in Buenos Aires have metal bars on their windows and doors. And the middle class areas and upwards have security guards in plastic boxes stationed on the corners.

A regular on our street is Horacio, an Independiente fan, who likes to practice his few words of English on me.

Another trend for those who can afford it is to move to what they call ‘countries’ – walled and guarded housing estates, far removed from the real world.

There have been a spate of robberies, sometimes violent, in recent weeks of houses in these ‘countries,’ and it’s suspected that the security guards, poorly paid ex-policemen with families and large bellies to support, may have provided information about the people they’re guarding. They must, after all, have plenty to steal or they wouldn’t have moved into a ‘country.’

Here are just a few examples from the past days of crime in and around Buenos Aires:

* A police lieutenant, Marcelino Monzon, shot dead by a couple of youths who were trying to steal the motorbike he used to get to work. He was very popular in the neighbourhood where he worked and hundreds marched to demand justice when they learnt of his death.

* A fifteen-year old boy stabbed to death outside a disco in an argument involving his sixteen-year-old ex-girlfriend. Four teenagers, including the ex-girlfriend, have been arrested.

* Thieves, posing as posing as postmen, broke into a house in one of the above-mentioned ‘countries’ and tied up and beat a woman and her teenage children before escaping with money and kitchen appliances. A neighbour alerted the police and the thieves fled.

They’re crimes similar to those committed around the world but they seem to provoke greater fear in Buenos Aires. When I’m not prowling the mean streets of Chacarita, I’m lurking with intent on dark corners in the east London borough of Hackney. It too has a reputation but I’ve found that if I pull my West Ham woolie hat over my eyebrows and hum the team anthem, I’m left well alone.

Another of my nifty security ploys is to place a Green poster on prominent display in a front window. That strongly implies that the owner is likely to own a bicycle rather than a BMW, will indulge in macramé rather than be watching a state-of-the-art LCD TV and will be wearing faded Guatemalan ankle bracelets rather than gold jewellery with many carats.

I keep hearing talk in Argentina of a golden era when everyone left their doors unlocked and the neighbours were in and out of each others’ homes. But ask yourself – would you want to come home from a tough day at the office, looking forward to a cold beer in front of Boca Juniors v Velez Sarsfield on the tele, to find Juan from next door eating your favourite biscuits and whingeing about litter on the streets? Give me locked doors and bars on the windows any day of the week.

Crime is an issue in Buenos Aires. So much so that the city government has just launched its own police force, we think to work side by side with the existing national force, but we’re not sure. When we’re robbed – and the locals tell me it’s only a matter of time – I’ll call both to see which one arrives first.

The situation is much the same across Latin America. The gap between rich and poor grows ever wider, more and more rural dwellers are arriving in the cities to swell the already bursting shanty towns, crime does rise but the paranoia of the middle and upper classes soars disproportionately and ever more drastic security measures are adopted.

Corria - two goal hero

Coria - two goal hero

Buenos Aires is a long way from Colombia. But I tell you, that West Ham hat pulled down tight over my head and a badly out of tune rendition of “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles” ensures me two free seats to myself on the late night bus home from the Argentinos Juniors stadium.

And I was singing tonight after a fantastic game which saw the Red Bugs, for now at least, in second place, just two points behind the leaders, Independiente. The home side’s Facundo Coria scored a couple of first half belters from outside the box. The team then rolled out a whole series of exquisite moves but managed, unbelievably, to miss a hatful of chances.

It was then inevitable that Chacarita would pull one back then leave us biting our nails, pacing nervously across the terraces and pulling our hair out while we waited for a final whistle we thought would never come. I almost started smoking.

The atmosphere at this game was tremendous, thanks to both sets of fans. It’s custom in Argentina for the away fans to leave straight after the final whistle while the home fans are kept behind for twenty minutes or so. I sometimes feel this is a basic infringement of my human rights, especially if my dinner’s on the table. But it does prevent clashes.

As the very raucous Chacarita fans trailed out, the home supporters applauded them and some of the departing spectators reciprocated. “What a fine body of human beings,” I thought to myself, tears welling up in my eyes! All perhaps is not lost.