Argentina  3  Costa Rica  0

With the group stage of the Copa America done and dusted it’s time for a round-up of the story so-far.  And what a story it’s been.

For a brief moment, a very brief moment, both giants of football in this part of the world looked like they might not qualify. Brazil stumbled through a couple of draws against Venezuela and Paraguay before relieving the tension with a 4-2 thumping of Ecuador.

And as Sergio Agüero poked that first goal past Costa Rica there was a palpable sigh of relief floating up to the skies above Argentina, like one of those farts that you’re not quite sure if anyone has heard.  It too was somewhat pungent, containing the residue of days of hot air and waffle from football fans and pundits alike pontificating on why the national team was not performing as it should.

Sergio Agüero - Maradona's son-in-law

Sergio Agüero - Maradona's son-in-law

Most of the blame seemed to rest on Leo Messi. Some asked: Is he even Argentine? He didn’t seem to know the words to the national anthem. Psychiatrists, politicians, former managers and players, Messi’s dad and the bloke that shines shoes at the corner of Cabildo and Congreso all had differing opinions.

“Play Javier Pastore,” went up one cry. He would be the solution. Why? I’m not sure. He’s not a bad player. But in a team boasting Agüero, Tevez, Di Maria et al, what would he do that they were not doing?

Both Colombia and Bolivia proved to be tougher in defence than many had anticipated. They put men on Messi. But rather than use the extra room that three men standing on Messi’s toes should have created, the likes of Tevez and Lavezzi ran stylishly into dead ends.

They reminded me of Georgi Kinkladze, formerly of Manchester City, who I saw several times at Upton Park. He was my favourite visiting player since you knew he would do magical things with the ball, have the home fans reluctantly gasping in bewilderment, before all his hard work resulted in absolutely nothing.

But faith has been restored by that three-nil drubbing of mighty Costa Rica, the only country in the world to disband its army. I shouldn’t really say this but if the Argentines won’t then someone must. This was only the Costa Rican youth team. They’d done well to beat Bolivia 2-0 and only lose by one goal to Colombia. But the goalkeeper wore braces on his teeth and, given the late kick-off, probably had a letter from his mum allowing him to stay up late.

Without that letter he’d have had to be substituted half an hour from the end to allow time for his cup of hot milk and a story before bed.

It’s Uruguay on Saturday in the quarter-finals. Argentina versus Uruguay is a bit like England against Scotland, but with good players.

Argentina pretty much ignores Uruguay most of the time, stealing its best players for its own league, buying up holiday homes and dirtying Uruguay’s much better beaches.

Uruguay whinges and moans about Argentina’s bullying and they glow with pride if you tell them how much more sophisticated and civilized they are compared to their bigger neighbours to the west.

But my tip for the title, riding on the crest of a 0% successful prediction rate, is Chile. They’re managed by Claudio ‘Bichi’ Borghi who brought Argentinos Juniors the national championship a little over a year ago.

He’s a man who plays attacking football yet shows little emotion. While those around him celebrate his team’s goals he might nod his head or stretch to a barely perceptible smile like a teacher acknowledging a piece of home-work well done. When championships are won and cups lifted, he might deign to rise from his seat.

Chile have played some great football to sit top of a tough group, containing Uruguay, a surprisingly competent Peru and Mexico. They’ll meet baseball playing Venezuela in the next round.

Brazil will play Paraguay who finished third in the same group, drawing all three games, usually after throwing away seemingly invincible leads. And Colombia clash with Peru. Ecuador, Costa Rica, Mexico and Bolivia are the four teams leaving early.

This competition is only going to get better. Watch this space.

Argentinos Juniors  1  Banfield  0

I woke this morning to the sound of birds twittering outside my bedroom window. The first Saturday sun of the Southern Hemisphere Spring streamed through the crack between my curtains and I bounded out of bed. This was going to be a good day. I could feel it in the air.

I follow West Ham United from afar and Argentinos Juniors from right up close. And this, so far, has not been a good season for either club. That’s putting it mildly. As I munched on my breakfast toast, both sides were rooted firmly to the bottom of their respective divisions with a combined total of just four points from twelve games played and not a single victory between them.

But, as I said, I knew today was going to be a good day. I settled in front of the tele to watch West Ham run rings around their North London rivals, Tottenham Hotspur. That Frédéric Piquionne goal on 29 minutes came as no surprise. And as I slipped on my Argentinos Juniors shirt to head for the Diego Armando Maradona stadium and the early afternoon kickoff against Banfield, I knew that the Hammers would not let that victory slip from their grasp.

“I don’t want to go,” wailed my son. “I get too depressed with all the losing.” It’s foolish parenting to promise your kids things you can’t deliver and none of us wants to see our children suffer so I chose my words carefully.

The drum is the most important instrument

The drum is the most important instrument

“Just put your bloody shoes and your Argentinos Juniors shirt on. You’re coming with me. We’re going to win this one.”

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but if you’re waiting for a 113 bus then you can normally guarantee that three 65s, the bus you don’t want, will sail by in quick succession. But not today, they didn’t. There were two empty 113s waiting at the bus stop when we arrived. It was just that kind of day!

To tell the truth, and it hurts me to do so, this was a poor game. Both sides lacked cohesion and far too many passes went astray. The home side’s captain and lynchpin, Nestor Ortigoza, was missing through injury. But the weather was glorious and the rooftops of La Paternal glistened in the sunlight.

“I’m bored,” moaned my son twenty minutes from the end with the game still at 0-0. “Can I have my DS?”

“No you can’t. Victory is nigh,” I proclaimed.

“What!” he said.

I wasn’t wrong. About ten minutes from the end Gonzalo Vargas got on the end of a pass from Franco Niell and pushed the ball into the net. I’m not sure this victory was deserved but when has that ever concerned us?

Another loose ball

Another loose ball

My son was leaping about swinging his shirt in the air and the sparse crowd banged their drums like there would be no tomorrow. There will be a tomorrow but it won’t be as good as today.

Two crap teams close to my heart both clinch their first victories of their seasons and both by a single, nerve-jangling goal. What are the odds? This was as good as it gets. Or so I thought.

When I got home I switched on the tele to discover that Leo Messi  was owning up to a life-long passion for that delightful east London delicacy, jellied eels, and a love of Essex architecture and was hoping to fulfil his dream of signing for West Ham by the start of next season. Remarkable!

What more could I ask? Peace in the Middle East perhaps? I switched channels just in time to see Benyamin Netanyahu and Mahmoud Abbas announce a power-sharing deal in Jerusalem and that a joint Palestinian-Israeli team would represent the region at the next World Cup.

Unlikely, I know. But at first light, so were victories for both Argentinos Juniors and West Ham United. And when the unlikely comes your way it’s tempting to get a little greedy.

As the sun set over Buenos Aires and the family gathered around the piano for a bi-lingual rendition of  the West Ham anthem ‘I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles,’ I clinked the ice-cubes in my glass of whisky and reflected on what a wonderful world this would be if everyone were as shallow as me and could glean such joy and optimism from two such hapless teams.

Back in the real world, Boca’s short-lived revival came to an abrupt 1-0 end against Estudiantes. Velez Sarsfield regained the top spot with a 3-0 drubbing of Olimpo and Independiente clinched a useful 1-0 win against my tip for the drop, Gimnasia. River only managed a 1-1 draw against lowly Quilmes, Colon beat previous high-fliers, San Lorenzo 2-0, Lanus won 1-0 against All Boys and everyone else drew. Argentinos Juniors lifted themselves off the bottom and now sit proudly in 16th place with a visit to second-from-bottom Gimnasia next weekend.

Argentina  1  Nigeria  0

Thank goodness for that! I’m not sure I could have tolerated much more World Cup build-up. The newspapers have been producing World Cup supplements for some time now and long ago ran out of useful things to say. My favourite headline on one of the 24-hour rolling news channels was: “The dulce de leche has arrived.”

For anyone who doesn’t know, dulce de leche is a sticky brown milky caramelly sort of mixture that Argentines smear on cakes, biscuits, ice-cream and possibly even each other. They dip bananas in it. It’s as Argentine as Diego Maradona dancing the tango while he chews on a prime cut of beef.

It’s to Argentines what Vegemite is to Australians or decent tea-bags are to Brits. Even if you don’t indulge that much while you’re at home, it’s a point of national pride to make sure you’re well stocked while you’re living abroad.

So it was big news that the dulce de leche had arrived at the Argentine camp in South Africa. That sizzling headline was only pushed off the top spot when it was announced that Messi would be sharing a room with Veron.

Do any other colleagues, when travelling abroad for work, share hotel rooms? I thought not, unless they work for cash-strapped companies and the Argentine team certainly doesn’t fall into that category.

The thinking is, of course, that Leo Messi is young and Juan Sebastian Veron is a knotty, worldly, experienced sort of fellow. But what’s he going to do? Read Messi bedtime stories? Tuck him in? Make sure he’s up on time and cleans his teeth?

There is almost no shop, bank, estate agent or product in Buenos Aires that doesn’t, in some form or another, display it’s allegiance to the national cause. Sellers of sky-blue and white scarves, flags, hats, masks and general plastic and nylon tat have sprouted on every street corner.

The city council has erected two huge screens in public areas and hoardings for fizzy drinks have built in clocks counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds to the World Cup. The sale of flat-screen TVs has gone through the roof, boosting an otherwise sluggish economy.

Sky Blue and White

Sky Blue and White

It was dangerous to be on the street ten minutes before the 11am (Argentine time) kick-off  for Argentina’s first game against Nigeria as all battled to be in front of a screen on time. There was anxious and impatient tutting at the supermarket check-outs where we queued with baskets laden with crisps, beer and dulce de leche. Then a mad dash. Ten minutes after the kick-off Argentines, not known for their punctuality, were still dashing … then – silence.

The birds were quiet, the wind blew the brushwood across the empty streets, the bar-room swing door creaked and a couple of lone Canadian tourists scurried nervously back to their hotel, wondering if perhaps the world had ended or the military were about to take over.

Then there was a collective roar that sent the Buenos Aires pigeons fluttering from trees as Gabriel Heinze, on the other side of the world, strayed into the Nigerian box and, unhindered by opposing defenders who were all attending to Mssrs Messi and Tevez, headed the ball into the net.

This was a solid team performance in which Messi played well. In any other context that sentence wouldn’t sound very dramatic. But given how disjointed Argentina’s recent team displays under Maradona have been and how poorly Leo has played for his national side, it really is very significant.

This was a good start against formidable opponents. Some players, most notably Tevez and Veron, didn’t play particularly well but the team did and the less impressive players will play better. With the likes of Gabriel Milito and Sergio Aguero sitting on the subs bench, they’d better. Most Argentines will be quietly content with this performance which, but for an outstanding Nigerian goalkeeper, would have delivered a more convincing scoreline.

The only dark cloud hanging over a promising start for Argentina is the presence in South Africa of a number of barra brava … the hardcore Argentine fans, some of them with criminal records.

More than a Cardboard Cutout...

More than a Cardboard Cutout...

The media here lets us know who they are and what some of them have done. Twelve were turned around and sent home by the South African authorities on their arrival in Johannesburg. Some of them have their trips financed and are given tickets for the games by the Argentine clubs, national football association and political parties. Quite what they get in return is not clear.

Thursday’s game against South Korea kicks off a 8.30am so the schools have installed big screens in the playgrounds and assembly halls so that no child need miss a single moment of the action.  Business deals have been rearranged, weddings postponed and non-life threatening operations rescheduled.

Argentina needs football and it needs victory in football, especially on the world stage, to feel good about itself when so much else is not as it should be. And it’s all so much better in high definition on a flat screen that stretches from wall-to-wall.